Well I'm gonna raise a squash and I'm gonna raise a cucumber.
It might take all summer and I know I'm a newcomer.
Well, I'm using compost
That ain't peat based
(So I'm pretty cool son with the organic race).
But sometimes I wonder
How to grow my beans
'Coz there ain't no cure for the summertime greens.
I've seen my 'taters grow without explanation.
And the mint I planted sprouts without irrigation.
I called Gardeners Question time
And they said 'Bloke -
we'd like to help you son,
but you're too much of a joke.'
Sometimes I wonder what it is I've seen
'Coz there ain't no cure for
The summertime greens.
So I'm gonna grow some peas an' I'm gonna grow some holly.
'Coz wherever I go it's gonna make me jolly.
And if Radio Four says
'You're in a fucking mess -
You're total waster son, look at the way you dress.'
Well it ain't gonna change
the way I am or seem -
'coz there ain't no cure for the summertime greens.
Angus Dewar (with fanx to Eddie Cochran) 20th August 2006